– “She knows her own mind, Clare!”

Those of you who have seen the film “Wives and Daughters” know from whence I have taken this quote. In this scene (from one of BBC’s most brilliant as well as most lengthy productions) a woman made a suggestion that affected the whereabouts of the heroine, who was present. The heroine, Molly, immediately answers with a rude and passionate manner. To do her credit, Molly immediately apologized and changed her tone as well as words but it is the reply of the woman that I want to draw attention to. Addressing herself to the future step-mother of Molly, the woman says with a smile, “She’s knows her own mind, Claire!”

This phrase is not limited to “Wives and Daughters” alone. I have noticed it more and more in movies, nearly always in connection with a young woman, usually between the ages of about fifteen to twenty-five. Someone, almost always an elder of the girl and in a position of authority over her, will suggest or even command her to do or not do something or perhaps even just contemplate it. The girl will respond in a manner both rude and arrogant that she knows better and will not follow what they have said. Her reasons, when given, are nearly always based upon self and what she wants. Unlike Molly, the girl rarely apologizes for her behavior but pushes it to its fullest extent, to the point of secretly doing that which she was forbidden to do. We see this all the time when it comes to forbidden marriages in movies, where the couple manages to marry, despite the hot protest from (usually the young woman’s) parents – most often Father. Or, the girl who wants an education or a job outside of the home but the father and/or mother forbids it, yet the girl refuses to submit, stubbornly asserts what she wants and in the end, generally, succeeds.

Our young women are being shaped more and more by this girl who “knows her own mind”. She knows her own mind alright! She knows exactly what she wants and often doesn’t care a bit what the reasons may be behind the protests of her elders. She believes she knows better than her elders and does not heed them. What is worse, in these movies, the young woman is nearly always proven right and her parents/elders wrong. But it doesn’t always (and probably not even usually) turn out that way.

I’m not saying that everything that our parents or our elders might say is correct nor am I saying that every time that we believe or think something opposite of them, that we’re wrong. We’re all human and as capable of error as the next one, whatever our age but our parents and those in similarly placed authority, have much more experience than we do! In addition to that, they are older and (at least usually) much more mature than we are.

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12) If we are honoring our father and mother, will we speak to them in a rude and arrogant manner? Will we cast off their suggestions and advice as worthless without even a second thought, if we are truly honoring them?

“Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.” (Hebrews 13:17) This verse is so clear… It doesn’t say to obey and submit if you like what they want or if you feel like it, it says to obey and submit. If those in authority were asking you to sin, it would be a different matter, as that would be contrary to the rest of Scripture, but if we are merely rebelling since we don’t want or like what we are being told, then we are going against scripture and are therefore sinning ourselves.

“Knowing your own mind” at a very young age, in the sense that you are a mature individual is a very good thing – but one sign of maturity will be that you follow the Scriptures and listen to those in authority, not assuming that you know better than they do. I know that I struggle with this – it’s so easy to assume that I know so much! It’s so easy to just brush aside the advice of my parents and elders, simply because I don’t want to hear it! As followers of Christ, it is our responsibility and our duty to defeat this tendency, to follow the voice of the Scriptures, ignore the voice of the world and listen, actually listen to our parents and elders and see what they might have to say. We might be surprised at how much wisdom they have to offer.

To the KING be all the glory!