By the Fireside

~The Impact of a Smile

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I don’t really know a lot of people, but there are some among my friends and acquaintance who have smiles that I love. They don’t know it, because I tend not to mention it, but it’s true. I tend to see a beauty in every genuine smile, but in these individuals, that beauty is exemplified. Often, this means that I can’t help but smile myself, even if the person isn’t looking at me or even knows that I’m watching them.

While I’ve always loved a smile, it was on a difficult day about two-and-a-half years ago, that I was struck by a lesson concerning them.

At the time, my family and I were living in a small house in a rough part of town. My sisters and I always went outdoors in pairs, often accompanied by our dog. Most of our friends were living a ways a way and I missed them sorely. While the LORD was gracious to me during the time that we lived there and I often found blessing to rejoice in, on this particular day the world felt difficult and my heart had grown heavy.

My sister needed to water plants in the front yard, so I went with her. Our house faced a busy main road, the yard separated from the sidewalk only by a short, rod-ironed fence. Vehicles made hundreds of passes everyday, creating a deafening roar, while dozens of people went on foot or by bicycle along the sidewalk.

While my sister watered thirsty plants with the only hose, I stood near the white fence, watching the passersby. Those who walked past me either just gave me a glance or ignored me altogether. Then, a bicyclist came by.

The bicyclist was a man, probably in his mid to late thirties. He had on a white helmet, and like so many others, looked up in time to catch my eye as he passed. Unlike the others, however, he did one thing. He smiled. He gave me a bright, genuine smile.

To my knowledge, I had never met that man before in my life. Never spoke to him; never even seen him. But that smile he gave me in the two seconds before he zipped past me, brightened not only the rest of my day, but the rest of my week. Yet, I wonder if I fully realized the lesson shown to me that day; the lesson revealing the impact of a smile.

The bicyclist likely doesn’t remember me. Of the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of people that he probably saw while riding on that day, I was one person who crossed his line of vision for less than half a minute. Still, I remember him. I remember him as the person the LORD used to bring me some cheer during a rough time.

It doesn’t take long to smile at someone. Sometimes it’s hard. The last thing you want to do is try to look cheerful for someone else. Yet, you don’t know what encouragement you might be passing on. I understand that it’s not always appropriate to smile, but at least think about trying. You just don’t know who might need a little cheering up or why, and it costs nothing.

Whether it’s for a loved one or a complete stranger, consider sharing a smile when you catch their eye. But don’t think about it too long before you act, because all you may have is a ten second window before the opportunity is gone.

 

To the KING be all the glory!

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~The Longest Year of My Life…

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2014. Wow, what a year! I was known to say, often not in the most charitable way, that the year seemed way too long and never ending. It did pass, however, whether I thought it would or not. December 31st is gone, 2015 is under way.

I tried more than once to write a grand blog post at the end of the year. But every idea ended up on the floor – literally. My bedroom has a carpet of paper more often than I liked to admit. Anyway, I was frustrated. After all, I am an author, my craft is to write words, yet I can’t write a post about my year, but everyone else on the planet can? (Okay… Dramatic, I know. I probably had a very similar thought, however.)

Thinking over those failed posts now, fourteen days late, I’m glad they didn’t turn out. 2014 really did feel like the longest and probably most difficult year of my life, but let me tell you why I praise the LORD for 2014.

In this last year, I had times of doubt over everything. My faith, my salvation, almost the very existence of God Almighty. It was the most awful, sickening realization of my life, when I realized what I was questioning. Days of doubt, denial, and prayer. Nights of pouring over my Bible and praying desperately. In the end, He brought me through. With patience and lovingkindness, He didn’t forsake me nor allow me to slip from His hand. That was early to mid-year.

After that time, I went through a period of sore temptation. While fully believing in the existence of the LORD and what He had done through the Son, I was tempted to walk away from Him altogether. I can’t explain it, but for an awful moment, I thought the idea sounded good. Before I ran in the figurative sense, absolutely terrified in the literal sense. I have never begged for anything so fervently in all my life, as I did that day when I begged that my God would not let me go, and would keep me from giving into temptation. Praise Him! He heard and heeded me.

The last season of trial came with depression. Nothing interested me, I cared about very little, and my thoughts were tempted into dangerous places. I prayed, but it seemed the LORD only granted me the strength to keep going, not to overcome.

Then came the most difficult day yet. I spent half of it in tears and all of it in pain. When I went to bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. I spent the dark hours reading a book and praying, begging, pleading for a miracle.

And He granted it.

I woke up the next morning with the heavy, dark cloud gone from my heart and mind. The depression was lifted, for which I bless the LORD!

I will admit to being a little nervous about laying these things out in a blog post. They’re personal and it does make me feel vulnerable. But this post isn’t about me. It’s about the amazing power and mercy of the LORD in my life this year. He has proven Himself faithful, gracious, forgiving, compassionate and mighty to me during 2014 and I want to proclaim it.

Am I afraid of 2015? A little bit. But I’m excited. Because I want to see what He has in store for me next. And you know? I don’t think I’ve ever thought about my future in that way before. Excited when I have no idea what’s coming next or in what way it will come.

To the KING be all the glory!

~Christmas Book Sale!!

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Note: This post is sticky for the next few weeks. For newer posts, please scroll down. :)

I always love getting books for Christmas. Besides music, books are probably my favorite gift to receive. And if my track record is any indication, they’re probably my favorite gift to give too. Just ask my siblings.

So, for the Christmas season, I’m doing a special on all of my books. For a limited time, you can order signed copies from me, for a discounted price. Shipping is $5.00.

Journeys of Four – $9.00

Grandmother’s Letters – $10.00

A Year with the Potters – $7.00

A Tale of the Say’s Phoebe – $6.00

Contact me here to order!

To the KING be all the glory!

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~When I Am Invisible

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Invisibility is one of those things you hear mentioned in Science Fiction or comic books. It’s a superpower or a chemical mistake. Well, I’m here to tell you that invisibility exists. And it’s no superpower.

How do I know? Because I’ve lived it. I have been invisible.

Groups of people (the larger the better!) are a great place for me to practice this skill. Specifically if there are a lot of strangers around or only semi-acquaintances. The easiest happens to be when this meeting is at a house. If I stand to the side, fold my hands, and watch, or sit on the floor near the sofa, motionless, yet watchful, I can maintain my trick. I become almost entirely invisible. People may glance my way, but most likely they won’t even make eye contact, or if they do, it’s brief and passing.

Outdoors can be more difficult, especially when trying to avoid the awkwardness of partial visibility, but it can also be a great place to get “lost” before drifting out of sight. It depends on the situation. That latter gets easier all the time though.

Sometimes it happens when I remain in the group. I can stand in-between two people, in a small group of 2-7, and no one seems to even know I’m there. Oh, yes, I’m usually quiet when this happens, but there isn’t always something I can think of to say. Nor is there always a place in the conversation that I can break into.

I find that this invisibility even translates to the lens of a camera. Somehow, without even striving to avoid it, I can slip out of view of pictures when there are a lot of people. Or become that tiny dot, on the side, half-way hidden by the ten other figures in the picture.

I’m becoming an expert, I tell you. An expert. I can stand to the side, watch everyone else have a grand time conversing and fellow-shipping, and no one will know, because I’m invisible and no one can see me. Unless they’re trying really hard.

So, I got to thinking. What is wrong with this picture? And I came up with an answer.

Invisibility isn’t a superpower, it isn’t a thrilling magic act, it isn’t a great gift. And no, I don’t set out to see how little I can be noticed. It just sort of happens. And it doesn’t always happen either. Just often. Personality wise, I’m shy, which means I either say nothing at all or talk too fast because I’m nervous. Most often it becomes the former. There may be other contributing factors; I don’t know. I don’t see me very well. I am me. I am always aware of me too, even when others aren’t. The problem, however, isn’t the invisibility, it’s what I do with that invisibility.

What am I best at? Brooding on it. Complaining about it. Hiding deeper in the shadows. I grow simultaneously rather proud and a bit bitter because, well, it’s a tad lonely standing there all alone. My own thoughts aren’t always the most amiable of companions anyway. And no one, not even those who may care about me most, can always see me at these times. I’m often as invisible to them, as to anyone else. Logic suggests that those people can’t attend to me every moment; random emotion suggests bitterness, because they can’t or won’t see how lonely I am. Then, the pride. Well, what else are you going to do, crouching in that corner by the sofa, all by your lonesome? Bitterness doesn’t do very well on its own. Pride though – pride that I can go unnoticed, that I can resist breaking into others’ conversations, that I don’t go around complaining all the time that no one can see me… Oh dear. Pride goes very well with bitterness. Very well, indeed.

But, is this wholesome? Is it healthy? Is it right?

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” Proverbs 16:18

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice…” Ephesians 4:31

So, as long as I keep up the pride and bitterness, I’m headed on a path to destruction, while disobeying a specific instruction laid out in Scripture. That would suggest that such actions are neither wholesome, healthy, nor right.

Contrary to where my instinct or habits might lie, my focus is all wrong, partly because it’s all on myself. I want this or that or the other thing. Or I don’t like this or that or the other thing..

“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:2-3

Focus on the things above, because I have died, and my life is hidden with Christ in God. That is quite a statement. If I have died, there is no room for self focus. Something that is dead and passed away has no cause being the focus of my day.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Then there are these verses, which I can take twofold in my situation.

First, if I am regarding others as more important than myself, there shouldn’t be any room for bitterness, just because they didn’t seem to notice that I faded into the background, beside the fact that it’s not their fault if I haven’t said a word in the last 20 minutes or so. That brings me to the second point, outlined in the second half of that verse. Looking out for the interests of others. Looking beyond the interests of myself, and reaching out to others. Becoming a servant, as the continuing verses in Philippians direct.

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.” Philippians 2:5-7

If I have put my focus on things above, died, had my life hidden with Christ in God, begun to regard others as more important than myself, while looking out for their interests and not merely my own, following the example of Christ into servitude… Where will that put me?

I don’t imagine that I’ll suddenly lose invisibility. But, how might it affect my reaction and attitude? There is no place for bitterness or pride in there. None. To be filled up with the things of the LORD, leaves no room for such low thoughts and behavior. On the contrary, I shouldn’t fret at all, but if it still feels like a trial at times, I should remember to “consider it all joy” and if I am acting upon being a servant, then I should be reaching out to others. When I realize that I have become that invisible girl, silent and statuesque in the corner of the room, I can look around and see who may need a helping hand, who else may be feeling invisible, who I might be able to get to know better. No, these opportunities aren’t always available; there might be times to be content and wait for an opportunity to show up, but I’m sure they’re more readily available than I tend to think.

I know it won’t always be easy either. There are times when I would far rather run away, then reach out to anyone around me, often because I don’t know them all that well. I’m shy, and sometimes I like to cower behind that label, because it makes me feel safer. It gives me an excuse to maintain my invisibility or refuse to reach out to someone. I’m becoming more and more convinced, however, that this is wrong. In my case, at the very least, to hide behind shyness, is only an outplay of focusing on myself. I need to turn my eyes outward.

I’m sure there are many times of invisibility ahead for me. I’m not sure it’s something I can change. I do plan, however, with the LORD’s help, to change my response, turn my gaze upward, put others before me, and follow in my Master’s footsteps. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? I’m quite sure it won’t be. He’ll help me though; He always does.

 

To the KING be all the glory!