~ “If the Lord wills…”

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A dear young friend of mine recently asked me, “What is the LORD teaching you lately?” I had to think for a moment, but I eventually answered, “Patience. Learning to abide by His will.” Oddly enough, it wasn’t until that moment, that I had fully realized this lesson. Questions have the strangest ability to bring revelations.

When I was about 17, my Mom suggested that I try writing a book of short stories based on experiences in my real life. (So far, everything I wrote was pretty much based on thing I had read in other books.) That assignment became A Year with the Potters. I finished the entire 1^st draft a little more than a year later and my readers encouraged me towards publication. So, I took the next obvious step – editing. I edited and a few other people read the book and gave me editing notes too. I wanted this book done at least before I was 20 – sooner would be better. Notice two words in that sentence: “I wanted.”

Because of reasons, completely beyond my control, my editors were unable to finish on my timeline. Eventually, I tabled the idea of publication. Our family had a rough year, we moved, I had another rough year, and then we moved again. By this time, I was nearly 22 years old. All of my editors had finished their notes. I threw myself into finishing my book. In a matter of weeks, I pronounced it done. Finally, the time had come to pursue publication had come! That was in late April. I wanted to have either submitted the book to a publishing company or had self published by the end of May. Notice a pattern here?

As I talked about in this post, during my final read-through, I began to question whether I was really finished writing or not. I prayed over that book for weeks. I didn’t want to do what He was telling me! I didn’t want to rewrite the entire book! But I did. The LORD’s leading was clear and I followed. I started on page one and rewrote all but one chapter, by hand. Then, I went through and typed out every page. It took me several weeks – much longer than I wanted – but I finished at last. By this time, I had decided, after much prayer and consideration, to self publish. My newest goal? I wanted to publish by early August.

I gave my book over to be proof read and set to work making my cover, re-calculating expenses, etc… The book was nearly ready, when my mother came up with a suggestion: illustrations. There are 13 chapters/stories in A Year with the Potters. What if I had an illustration for each? My sister Bethany began drawing and I switched again. I wanted to publish in mid August or by the second week of September at the very latest.

The illustrations had a few setbacks and the end of August drew near. Then, the last week of August – the 27^th to be exact – we started packing to move again. And here I am.

Bethany still has 4 illustrations to draw, I still need to give the book a final read through and go through a few notes from my proof reader. Then, I have formatting and the rest of the cover to create. Not to mention the rest of the unpacking we have left here at our new house. I wanted to be done by now. And lest you think otherwise, I haven’t been the most gracious about the setbacks either. When I wasn’t saying anything aloud (and I have tried to keep it to myself most of the time), I’ve been complaining to myself. I didn’t think that the LORD might be trying to teach me something. Nothing seemed to fit within my timeline, so I got upset. But that’s just it. I wanted this and that. Did I pray about it? Yes. But I prayed my timeline would work out, I don’t think I ever prayed, “Let me publish this when You’re ready for me to release it, LORD.” It was more like, “I want this done at this time, LORD. Could You please make it happen?”

See? My timeline, not His. So, I’m working on patience. Contentment too. I think contentment must be the heart of patience. This book will get published when He says the day is right. Not before. My place is to be joyful and wait. Not beg for what I want, but ask Him to let His will be done, even when I think it is hard.

I do hope His will is soon though. I’m still hoping for this month or next, but I’m trying to wait patiently to see what my LORD has decided. I know, whenever He lets me publish, it will be the perfect time.

‘Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” ‘ James 4:13-15

 

To the KING be all the glory!

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